It's Been a While

Why is it that I am so unwilling to share when times are difficult?

Is it like that with you too?

I guess I find that I just do not want to cause anyone else discomfort of any kind.

My holidays were pretty miserable.  There is just no other way to say it.  A family rift caused great pain and I was unable to see the three grandchildren that live nearby.  After nearly fourteen years of weekly, biweekly and so many weekend sleepovers I can't even count - the house was empty of children and the happiness they brought.


I made it through the season of mousemaking and actually saw a rise in dollars over last year.  It came very very late.  I had almost given up hope...but it came.  I was able to buy presents for all five grandchildren.

We also had a huge plumbing problem in our basement - Yep that is where my Workshop is.  I had to carry basket after basket of raw materials upstairs and work on the dining room table.  That did not make for pleasant relations with my husband who "hates" my business!

The main pipe that removed waste from our home was broken outside and inside the basement.  We had several plumbers come to give us estimates - $5,000. was the highest and $900. was the lowest. Living on a fixed income meant that we didn't even have the money for the lowest bid.  That meant emptying twice daily a disgusting pail of waste water.  We did this for over three months.  One day I saw that my neice had used a plumber and mentioned his name on her Facebook page.  That very day I called and wonder of wonders the wonderful woman (wife of plumber #2 of 3) listened to my problem and immediately called her hub who was miracle of miracle "between jobs".  He and his brother came and FIXED THE HORRIBLE PROBLEM ON THE SPOT.  I was so nervous.  I only had $414.00 in my business account and nothing in our personal account.  My hub was at work and knew nothing of this.  I rushed downstairs to tell the plumbers that I had very little money.  "No problem", they said in unison. "We'll work with you."  Well you can just guess what happened then - Yep. Lots of tears and so many thank yous. I'm still making payments but the balance will soon be zero.

Can you even imagine how wonderful it was not to have to empty that disgusting pail twice a day? I realized I had just experienced a Random Act of Kindness.  Sure I had to give them all but $14.00 from my account and make weekly payments but it was so so so worth it.

It has been hard for me just to hold my head up since my husband lost his position at the bank nearly five years ago.  My whole world collapsed.  We lost all of our 401K plan.  We lost all of our credit. We now have one ten year old car left.  My husband was a VP Asset Based Lender. Now he works from 1-10 at Walmart.  He has to stand all day on cement.  He is 69.  He is depressed. He now relies on the Veterans for his insurance and medical care.  I have to pay 3/4's of my social security monthly allowance for my insurance.  If I didn't I wouldn't be able to pay for the hypertension, anxiety, diabetic meds that I must take each day. I am now on a quest to lose 60 pounds.  I am told that if I do I will no longer have to take half of my meds.  Sounds like a GREAT reward to me.  So hello fruits, veggies, legumes. Farewell bread, pasta, and rice.  I'll miss ya.

Thanks to the CT Housing Authority we were able to stay in our home.  Our mortgage rate is still over 7% but if we honor all of our payments for the next six years the $37,000. in arrears will be "forgiven".
In six more years I will be 70.  My husband will be 75.  Sometimes I wonder if we will make it...at other times I think, "why shouldn't we make it".  If we had had to surrend our home we would have had zero equity and no place to live.

We are never given the promise of an easy life.  I realize so many others have it so much harder.  Thank the Lord I have a strong constitution and enough drive to keep me going for a while longer.

I am so grateful now for each day I am given.  I try very hard to be grateful for any thing that doesn't force me under the bus.

I started this long and wandering post to tell you about a terrific post that a fellow artisan at the Old
Farmhouse Gathering Team (on Etsy) wrote this morning.  I hope you will all stop and read it.  It is
just wonderful:

http://handofbelapeck.typepad.com/blog/2013/02/worth-repeating-be-still.html

Linda